segunda-feira, 18 de setembro de 2017

My friends have boycotted me and want to turn me into an entrepreneur

In the last few days I realize that my friends have decided to look at the job that I need to live honestly. I do not want to compete with them. The job is no big deal and consists of being a waiter at the restaurant down the street from our house. Since I can only get there after 6:00 pm, they spend the whole afternoon free and have time to get there early, which harms me because now this job has even more employees. Saturday night, the boss called to work, but as it was so late I already get the money in other ways, in exchange for some erotic photos. It was very sad because I saw how my possible client is only a middle-class conservartive supported by parents, and worst, with short and predictable money, with no prospects of large sum of money in a short time and I do not have time to wait. That's what you get when you mingle with students to survive. This is interesting because is a coincidence too, in the same day, I notice that, I talked with some boyfriend of mine about his current situation at the military, and there is kind of the same, everyone want your place, for their own business, and their own business is shit.  I was recently with a richer boy in better condition than mine. The poor guy suffered a credit card fraud from his ex-boyfriend and is something that must have destroyed his confidence. He has a three bedroom apartment, and two of them are not being used. I would have asked to move in if it was close to UFMT. I think we have some kind of relationship because he said not to take anyone to his apartment, but of course they'll say anything before they take you to bed. Continuing, my friends then decided to look at my job, since no one wanted to work until then and now they have decided it is time to boycott me financially taking my job instead of looking for some other places to work, not just one, but two friends decided to go around the same place where I work, what does not detract from their reason, for convenience, but now I have little money, because I am being called less to work. The boys spend all the money in one night with cocaine and I would like to invest the money in an art-related venture. But I fear this investment is a stuck vessel destined for the quickest shipwreck. Anyway, now I live with little money, just like the one dollar bill hippie, luckily last month I managed to settle all the bills and in the first day I get a value for the next rent, but otherwise I do not have other forms of income or even how to get more money. If all goes well, I receive a singular quantity of money and I will try to start my enterprise already. Whether there will be a financial return or if the end result will be satisfactory I can not say, but what I can tell you is that I will act as a mirror of an industry. Can the market work like a black hole and lead me to even bigger money holes? I want it all, I want to be swallowed by the black hole of market. I never wanted to become an entrepreneur, but after being a bit of everything in this Brazilian market prison, I was even walking, now it's time to try to sell what I can sell, yet I live a constant insecurity and maybe becoming a businessman is the last escape in these time. I'm hunger for new ways out of my actual reality. Whoever can contribute, I want more freedom of creation and more time to write about my life and also produce art, something that I have been boycotted for lack of money. And I'm in lack of money first for being jobless (in other words I get a bachelor's degree in social sciences) and second because all the jobs pay so little, and now the little sum is boycotted by my friends (who receive money from their parents), so now I'm being in face to face with the misery and my only way out seems to become an entrepreneur, only to survive. It's not a life, it's a torture. I don't want to be an capitalist, but please, help me with financial support and advices. I'm open. And I'm trying to survive, calling you from here, asking for your help, in the south america third world.

go for a beer young boy, you deserve it.

***



***
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Mes motivations, vive la liberté!

domingo, 17 de setembro de 2017

A day when I was a nazi guy and why I live in eternal surrender

Sometime in the past, when I was younger and even more imature then today, I was sitting in the subway thinking absurds as cleaning and better society, like we can redefine the hell to make him work as a paradise machine, but in all senses there's no better society. Venezuela is already in crisis and now they have a rabbit meat plan to resist the "economic embargo". Right. So, they are like in civil war over there, and the same for Syria, the capital Damascus is over. The politics can ruin a city by means of war and war is only by means of lies. Propaganda lies. Reporters are well played and payed liers.  And is it, Venezuela for his communistic expectations, of a free marxist society, is going all wrong. I can't really tell you that, because I had never been visiting Caracas, so... How can they not expected the rise of belic and economic capitalist ways of control? Maduro is member of Masonic temples? In other words, there is no better society. There is only one global society. Even Cuba is not perfect, and Cuba is like United States turistic altered reality. Sorry if what I think is bullshit, but I can't confirm communism in these days, even in Brazil the left in politics is a visage from central banks, and returning to the post, I was in the subway, thinking all nazi thoughts, as cleaning for a better society, as genetic enhancement by veganism, etc, and someone came in with several skin diseases all over his arms and I was completely shocked and having thoughts like ''why he doesn't have a bath more regularly so we are not be obliged to stay around with his problems?'', because in my view these problems can be solved by good habits and a bath. I was a douchebag. An idiot. Because there is not my right to judge his reality, I don't even know him for do that. So I was horrified for his skin strange spots, and kind of grossed over. And judge him, a lot. I remember my error and understant my punishment. I think this past action was not my right. So after a time, I get psoriases too and I think these events are correlated and I am really being punished, the reality is punishing myself for a thing I was wrong and I only understand that now. But accepting I am receiving what I deserve means that exist a  magical justice based on energy, so I think this option is crazy. In this sense all my problem, who starts after these traumatic events are nothing more or less then coincidence, so now I live with psoriasis and hate it.


go for a beer young boy, you deserve it.

***



***
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Mes motivations, vive la liberté!

sexta-feira, 15 de setembro de 2017

The communists are eating my yogurts.

I am living now in a house with some friends. The ideal for cooperation is being tested with some unsuccessful agreements and few good results. But the ideal is far more strong then our failures.  In Brazil, for a student, or for a person who does not get a job, or someone who lives by a part time job, the only and last solution to live around the good places and good neighbours (not so far away from the city) is to raise more money and pay alone a absurd price, in general all the places are more than a minimum wage, and everybody gets a minimum wage, unless you have money in your family, or properties, so our youth is kind of trapped in this community system of resistence against capital. Because capital is only good for some people. Yesterday I was with a friend of mine, who is a veterinarian for profession. He lives in a good apartment, with three bedrooms, and he get a nice car. Travel a lot and go to eletronic parties almost every weekend. I, with another instance, get a degree, but no job at all and the few jobs I can have I don't have because all of them are like torture. Now I work part time as a waiter, thanks to the compassion of my boss, again as a waiter, and part time as internet boy in the security sector of my educational institution (for months now, but this will end soon). I dont know what to do to get the same financial possibilities of my friend, or at least a little close to his life. I am not jealous. I just want be with him. We have different professions and my profession in Brazil is in some sense a joke for the stablishment, just because we are critical of the mechanism of control. So I am a jobless person now, because my jobs are not jobs for my formation. The free market apparently does not want sociology as a good career. Arts and performing arts are the same in the Brazil's free market, a joke. I want to produce something, but I need financial support and advices. A producer will be great. So I'm living without jobs or money and my life sucks, I am young, but broke, and some people think I am with good shape, so sometimes some people pay me R$ 50 reais to see me naked or thinks like that. With these hell of life without money in the capitalism system I continuously living day by day, and now the communists (my friends living in cooperation with me) are all eating my yogurts and other foods, because I get all the pretty things and they are kind of jealous. So now they get my job too, as I explain in the other post where reality and thug life expected me to be a entrepreneur to not die of hungry. Thank you my communist friends. I love you comrads. Fucking me so hard right now, I almost feel like in my teenager years with some crazy and destructive girlfriend ou even a mother laughing hard against my choices.


go for a beer young boy, you deserve it.

***



***
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Mes motivations, vive la liberté!

quarta-feira, 13 de setembro de 2017

My past story of love. Threesome and polygamy problems.

When I arrived in this city I can possible tell you I was searching for love. Any kind of love. It was living a holiday for me, everyone was interesting, so I pretend that I was in the beach and every hot person who is nice to me is just for casual sex encounters, in the right moment. So in some moment of my life, a 2 meters tall transexual girl decided to be my girlfriend. After she decided I was her boyfriend, she use me to get some marriage and social acceptance from the losers. I hate this need for acceptance and the fact she needs to prove everyone something. They are all fucktards, so why the fuck she cares? I care for my thong in public, but not necessarily because I want acceptance or want to have friends or any bullshit alike. I make myself silent (when I can, never when I need to) to stay out of trouble, for fear of them, fear of the society, in other words I would prefer remain silent then confront their shits. I actually prefer stay away, it's safer. In some sense, being with her, a 2 meters tall transvestite was cool for escandalize the conservatives ones and people who doesn't understand freedom. I think she was very cool back then and I was happy to be with her. She was intelligent and had nice and bitter social comments. The conservatives are the fun side effects of our relationship. Now I know the truth, but in some period I think she really likes me. I was wrong.
Now I'm going to tell you how she tried to use me for her bad intentions and how her spells return against her, because she's only good in appearance and only when she wants something of you, after the magic fades she reveals herself as a fucking 30 years old male and a cruel devil. The story goes and she had a mysterious boyfriend who appears suddenly in her residence about 3am, or in the night owl hours. She tried to use me to exclude him of her life. Her reasons are she was tired of him and I think they doesn't even have a good relationship in the first instance. Well, I am not the jealous partner and he was damn cute. So she tried to make us fight or make him hate me, and always come to me saying he hate me, always and everyday she needs to reinforce the ideia that he hates me and he would beat me one day. I kind of love to wrestle with boys, so this make me feel even more happy. Happy to know my rival is in some sense hot and likes the same. Fighting. Well, at that point I had no clue about him wanting sex with me. I was thinking, in my innocence, that he only want to punch me or get a jiu jitsu fight betting money, and we were actually playing together already. So all her talks made me a little paranoic. For me it was not the first time that I  have an heterossexual friend who only wants to fight with me. Because I actually do some wrestling for fun. I'm a strong, hot. intelligent guy. If they do not want sex, they will want something. Young guys fall in love. Not exactly sexually. In general they desire to prove themselves they can beat me in a game, in a fight, in something. So, after sometime he decided to give me pleasure and it was nice, but surprisingly. I was suspicious about him, but suspicinous not meant reality. We make sex with some friends and she hates that and expelled him from her house. It was not our fault. We are living together since the beginning, but she was not happy. She was never happy. She does not want us to be happy. After she expelled him herself (because her plans to use me to expel him get wrong) I started to visit him after our work, but still living with. In some point she turned herself the devil, so jealous, with rules, and prohibitions, and constantly, relentlessly complaining. After a time of suffering and living in her devilish conditions I escape to my friend's house, to live with him for a time. Now, time has passed and we are nothing more than dust. This story looks like fictional. I am not living in my friend's bedroom anymore, we will never make sex again. He does not want me. I think he never want me and in that period he only wants to escape her too. He use me too. I think we escape together sometimes. I am grateful until now because he save me of a marriage, a monogamous marriage. A hell. He save me from that punishment. We still live in the same house, but now in separately rooms, great for me. She doesnt want to talk with me anymore. Neither with him. But I know, and thats hurts, I know one thing: she tried to use me to fill the void of him. She tried to use me to throw out other person. The person who she tried to kick out is one of my best friends now, and she was wrong for trying to do that. It was a bad action. Try to segregated someone. Even a abusive past partner. In the end she ended up alone and complaining more. The fact is it: she tried to use me to exclude someone who was a good person. She get her reasons, but I am not a tool. I will never be a someone's hand tool. Today I know that if he came and pledge to her to restart their relationship she actually will accept him again, because my relationship with her was only a tool so save her from him, too. Relationships are ironic. I love her but hate the devil who possessed her mind. I never want to end up my relationship with her, I just want to have two houses for love. Or more.

go for a beer young boy, you deserve it.



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Mes motivations, vive la liberté!

segunda-feira, 11 de setembro de 2017

I got someone.

I got someone. Someone who doesn't want me, not exactly sexually, but we are together until now, he is my brother, was my lover and now we are another thing. We lived together, sleeped together for so long, then he treated me so bad and make some distance for a time and even after that we still in the same house, because I understand him in his long story short, sometimes everyone needs a time for themselves, and love is always demanding something. My friend and I, we never make sex again and it's alright. I actually dont want sex, only wrestling and jiu jitsu for me in a man with a man relationship is fine, because I like to fight and like violence, so having a best friend who likes your favorite sport was fulfilling and he is the best fighter in the city. I like being with a man to try and feel the strong and violence we can use for our own fun. Kind of BDSM ''perversion''. I dont think I can actually love a man, but I love my friend today even knowing he does not love me.  When I'm with someone else I'm kind of missing him. He's so handsome for me. But he is the kind of guy who only loves woman publicy, and men only sometimes, in night stands, secretly, in other words he is a hot trap, and I need to get away and make some distance from his intentions, because that confuses me in the sense I don't want sex, but company.

go for a beer young boy, you deserve it.


***
Please make a donation. I live in the third world and to continue any work, writing and artistic production, videos or images, I need your financial engagement to not end up in one of the mass exploitation factories of the Brazilian market dictatorship. Please!!!!! Any value counts, 50 reais (12,5 $) is little out there but it makes a big difference here.


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****

Mes motivations, vive la liberté!

Young boys and mature guys.

The young boys put all the things harder to try themselves in not necessary tasks because so they will prove us how mature and though they are, and us, besides that, the mature and though guys, we are trying to live the easiest as we can because nobody is getting any younger so why not to enjoy after all?



go for a beer young boy, you deserve it.

***


Please make a donation. I live in the third world and to continue any work, writing and artistic production, videos or images, I need your financial engagement to not end up in one of the mass exploitation factories of the Brazilian market dictatorship. Please!!!!! Any value counts, 50 reais (12,5 $) is little out there but it makes a big difference here.


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Mes motivations, vive la liberté!

terça-feira, 5 de setembro de 2017

The hypocrisy of workers in the work reform - Brazil (post-coup era)

1906, litografia de Gilles Grandjouan
I think that people like myself, a really hard-working guy in my mid 20 years old, emprisonned in this form of social organization of work since ever, and is not the case to say we already don't have rights, but anyone, any normal poor person in brazil already worked to the for-profite private Enterprises and I think nobody is or was happy today or yesterday, or even in the future and we still continue working for them as we don't have other choices, and this is our whole hypocrisy. Fast food chains had always the worst case cenarios with creepy B horror movies side stories, so I mean, I worked as seller of credit (stage of capitalism where we sell money) by computer for poor and financially uneducated people, to supposedly help them, so as to say it, how many ethic questions are asked when they make people work in these devilishly conditions and always by contracts, for the purpose of profit? It's not specifically the so called CLT jobs or the informal job. Workers by temporary contracts is the new face of the workforce in the brazilian hell of free market. In Sao Paulo, the current mayor of the city has, as main discourse, the logic of work as a social program. It's Ronald Reagan himself, and he is also a celebrity too. It is no longer enough that the minimum wage has increased well below inflation, decreasing it's purchasing power, but now, with the labor reform in Brazil, works which were already precarious and privatized, became even worse, in the interest of those who already have the means of production. The poor now do not even have the right to a full-time minimum wage, only if this is stated in contract, because there is now a form of work called intermittent labor. What in theory happens in an advanced project of division of labor where the worker gains free time once he receives his money per hour worked, being so in his charge and interest to work more or less for profit. What is not said in official advertising is that in the experience of the big city much of our time is lost in mass transit and what is left is not enough for leisure time and studies. That means the working class lost their right to get a higher education and leisure. A large part of the working class in Brazil, and especially a large part of the workers of Sao Paulo, my hometown, works daily without rest, sometimes selling even their own day off, those who still have a formal contract and are protected by the old norms of legislation. Many others need to work two different jobs, without day off, as a way to ensure a decent income, which guarantees a minimum of comfort. Families do not have time to look after their own children. The lower pay professions are despised by the ruling class and even by a snobbish and disqualified middle class, because of a meritocratic ideology in a country with a history of slavery. Teachers in Sao Paulo need to undergo the logic of incessant, supposedly intermittent, double-timed work. Today even pregnant women need to work without maternity leave. Because the rights were practically suspended and the lie was selled by the television. Any strike is punishable by imprisonment or wages cut. To my generation was promised a four-hour job and a leisure society, what we have is the possibility of working twelve hours and earning just enough to pay the bills while the free time is criminalized and our spaces of resting are paid. Not to mention social gentrification and real estate speculation, which keeps everyone in danger of indigence. And only God alone knows, God who does not exist, how Sao Paulo treats it's homeless people. It's our silent crime. Or our televised crime. Rest time is a time of exhaustion in the city that never sleeps. While you sleep, the productive mayor works.

***

O direito à preguiça.
Paul Lafargue. 1848
Je pense que des gens comme moi, un gars travailleur, au milieu de mes 20 ans, prisonnier de cette forme d'organisation sociale du travail depuis toujours, et ce n'est pas tout à fait le cas de dire que nous n'avons plus de droits du travail, mais n'importe qui, n'importe quelle personne normale et pauvre au Brésil a travaillé pour des compagnies privées qui cherchent seulement plus de profit et je pense que personne n'est ou n'était heureux en vendant leur temps, que ce soit aujourd'hui ou hier, ou même dans le futur, et même alors nous continuons à travailler pour ces entreprises s'il n'y avait pas d'autres sorties et c'est notre hypocrisie. Les chaînes de fast-food ont toujours le pire des cas possibles, avec les histoires les plus effrayantes de films d'horreur B, qui est, j'ai moi-même travaillé comme vendeur de crédit, ordinateur (télémarketing) aux pauvres sans éducation financière, soi-disant pour les aider, en d'autres termes, combien de questions éthiques sont posées quand ils nous soumettent à travailler dans ces conditions diaboliques et toujours par des contrats? Ce n'est pas exactement ce qu'on appelle les emplois CLT ou tout autre travail informel. Les travailleurs contractuels temporaires, appelés intermittents, sont le nouveau visage de la main-d'œuvre sur le marché infernal du travail brésilien. À São Paulo, l'actuel maire de la ville a, pour discours principal, la logique du travail en tant que programme social. C'est le Brésilien Ronald Reagan lui-même, étant aussi une célébrité. Non plus seulement le fait que le salaire minimum a augmenté bien au-dessous de l'inflation, ce qui réduit leur pouvoir d'achat, mais maintenant, avec la réforme du travail, qui était déjà précaire et privatisée, est devenu encore pire, dans l'intérêt de ceux qui ont déjà les moyens de production. Les pauvres n'ont même pas droit au salaire minimum, seulement si cela est stipulé dans le contrat, car il existe maintenant une forme de travail appelée travail intermittent. Ce qui se passe en théorie dans un projet avancé de division du travail, où le travailleur obtient du temps libre une fois qu'il reçoit son argent par heure travaillée, étant à sa charge et intérêt à travailler plus ou moins. Ce qui n'est pas dit dans la publicité officielle, c'est que dans l'expérience de la grande ville, une grande partie de notre temps est perdue dans le transport public et ce qui reste n'est pas suffisant pour les loisirs et les études. Les travailleurs ont perdu le droit au temps libre et à l'éducation supérieure. Une grande partie de la classe ouvrière au Brésil et surtout la plupart des travailleurs à São Paulo, ma ville natale, continuer à travailler tous les jours sans repos, parfois même vendre le jour de congé, ceux qui ont encore un contrat formel et sont protégés par les anciennes normes de la législation. Beaucoup d'autres besoin de travailler dans deux emplois différents pour assurer un revenu décent, ce qui garantit un minimum de confort. Les familles n'ont pas le temps de s'occuper de leurs propres enfants. Les professions moins rémunérées sont méprisées par la classe dirigeante et même par une classe moyenne snob et disqualifiée à cause d'une idéologie méritocratique dans un pays avec un passé d'esclavagiste. Même les enseignants de São Paulo doivent se soumettre à la logique du travail incessant, supposé intermittent, en effectuant des journées doubles. Aujourd'hui, même les femmes enceintes doivent travailler sans congé de maternité. Parce que les droits étaient pratiquement suspendus et que le mensonge enveloppés ont été jetés dans la gorge par les médias traditionnels. Toute grève est passible d'emprisonnement ou de suspension de salaire. Pour ma génération a été promis un travail de quatre heures et une société de loisirs, ce que nous avons est la capacité de travailler douze heures et seulement gagner assez pour payer les factures, alors que le temps libre est criminalisée et des espaces de repos sont payés. Sans parler de l'embourgeoisement social et de la spéculation immobilière, qui met tout le monde en danger de indigence. Et Dieu seul, qui n'existe pas, sait comment Sao Paulo traite ses sans-abri. C'est le crime silencieux de ma ville. Ou le crime télévisé. Le temps de loisir est un moment d'épuisement dans la ville qui ne dort jamais. Pendant que vous dormez, le maire productif travaille.

***

Oito horas de trabalho, 
Oito horas de lazer, 
Oito Horas de descanso 
Melbourne, 1856
Penso que as pessoas como eu, um cara trabalhador, na metade dos meus 20 anos, aprisionado nessa forma de organização social do trabalho desde sempre, e não é bem o caso de dizer que já não temos direitos trabalhistas, mas qualquer um, qualquer pessoa normal e pobre no Brasil já trabalhou para as empresas privadas que apenas buscam mais lucro e acho que ninguém é ou estava feliz enquanto vendia seu tempo para elas, seja hoje ou ontem, ou mesmo no futuro, e mesmo assim continuamos trabalhando para estas empresas como se não houvesse outras saídas e aí que está a nossa hipocrisia. As cadeias de fast-food sempre tiveram os piores casos possíveis, com as histórias mais assustadoras de filmes de terror B, isto é, eu mesmo trabalhei como vendedor de crédito, por computador (telemarketing), para pessoas pobres e sem educação financeira, supostamente para ajuda-las, em outras palavras, quantas questões éticas são levantadas quando eles nos submetem a trabalhar nessas condições diabólicas e sempre por contratos? Não são exatamente os chamados trabalhos com CLT ou aquele trabalho informal qualquer. Trabalhadores por contrato temporário, chamado intermitente, são o novo rosto da força de trabalho no infernal mercado de trabalho brasileiro. Em São Paulo, o atual prefeito da cidade tem como discurso principal a lógica do trabalho enquanto programa social. É o próprio Ronald Reagan brasileiro, sendo ele também uma celebridade. Já não basta o fato do salário mínimo ter aumentado bem abaixo da inflação, diminuindo seu poder aquisitivo, mas agora, com a reforma trabalhista, o que já era precarizado e terceirizado, ficou ainda pior, à mêrce dos interesses dos que já possuem os meios de produção. Os pobres agora nem ao menos tem direito a um salário mínimo integral, apenas se isso estiver declarado em contrato, porque agora existe uma forma de trabalho chamada trabalho intermitente. O que em teoria se dá em um projeto avançado de divisão do trabalho, onde o trabalhador ganha tempo livre uma vez que recebe seu dinheiro por hora trabalhada, ficando a seu cargo e interesse trabalhar mais ou menos. O que não é dito na propaganda oficial é que na vivência da cidade grande muito do nosso tempo é perdido em transporte público de massa e o que sobra não é suficiente para o lazer e os estudos. Os trabalhadores perderam o direito ao tempo livre e à educação superior. Boa parte da classe trabalhadora no Brasil e em especial boa parte dos trabalhadores de São Paulo, minha cidade de nascença, permanecem trabalhando diariamente sem descanso, às vezes vendendo até mesmo a própria folga, estes que ainda tem carteira assinada e são protegidos pelas normas antigas da legislação. Muitos outros precisam trabalhar dois horários como forma de assegurar uma renda digna, que garanta um mínimo de conforto. As famílias não tem tempo para cuidar dos próprios filhos. As profissões da base são menosprezadas pela classe dominante e até mesmo por uma classe média esnobe e desqualificada por causa de uma ideologia meritocrática em um país com histórico de economia escravista. Até os professores em São Paulo precisam se submeter a lógica do trabalho incessante, supostamente intermitente, realizando jornadas duplas. Hoje mesmo as grávidas precisam trabalhar sem licença maternidade. Porque os direitos praticamente foram suspensos e a mentira foi enfiada garganta abaixo pela mídia mainstream. Qualquer greve é punida com prisão ou corte nos salários. À minha geração foi prometido um trabalho de quatro horas e uma sociedade de lazer, o que temos é a possibilidade de trabalhar doze horas e ganhar apenas o suficiente para pagar as contas, enquanto o tempo livre é criminalizado e os espaços de descanso são pagos. Sem falar da gentrificação social e da especulação imobiliária, que mantém todos ameaçados com a indigência. E só Deus, que não existe, sabe como Sao Paulo trata seus moradores de rua. É o crime silencioso de São Paulo. Ou o crime televisionado. O tempo de descanso é um tempo de exaustão na cidade que nunca dorme. Enquanto você dorme, o produtivo prefeito trabalha.


go for a beer young boy, you deserve it.

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Mes motivations, vive la liberté!