Profligacy and debauchery. Putaria e libertinagem.

It's the slogan of my personal flag. Some people called it wrong, but I called it freedom of being whatever you want, since you do not hurt anybody and have fun, so why not?  Why do I need to maintain this facade of morality? Am I a religious guy? Do I believe in hell? Hell isn't even in the bible, so how can I believe in something that doens't exist in the supposedly religion itself? There's hell in some fictional narratives or greek mythology, but it's not that image that was selled to us by movies and tv shows, with fire and animals, and spiritual beings with hatred, and floating things, and torture, right? The only thing real in the narrative is the torture itself, physical or psychological, is almost a habit among religious, to punish and want to punish others for values that are completely imaginary. How can people consider the ideia as a serious thing? A place with fire. This doesn't even exist in the whole bible. And we have more, with Lucifer, himself, as the rebellious anti-god representation of power in a fucking throne. Why do they need a fucking throne? Nobody got a throne in these days, will be a chair, maybe some department. I know many devils in the departments already. I don't need a demon to understand how the exploitation and capitalist hierarchy works. God and Christ are white guys. With position of power. Any person who defies that power is banned. In the department will be the next jobless. Jobless in a godless world. If God really exist how he can permit those capitalists leechs stealing the means of production and correct distribution of resources? I guess he don't. It's only a materialistic reality made by workers hands. Where's the angels and the Sodoma moral thing? It's was a nuclear war written as how the period saw it? How hindu religions of past would reproduce the image of an actual war? Each epoch has its very own writing style, an aesthetics... But in these old written fictional stories the war had religious and spiritual meaning, for enlightment of humanity purposes. Our war is only for human profit and greed. It can be more wrong and more fake, surprisingly.

Fisting and screaming brazilian flag.

go for a beer young boy, you deserve it.

***

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Mes motivations, vive la liberté!

New category of exploitation: jealousy about a precarious job.

Well, some time ago I had been through a very interesting situation where there was a kind of envy and desire for the way of life in which I was imprisoned and somehow I still am. I worked every night as a waiter, and even if it took my time and did not allow me to wake up early the other day (which detracted me from my studies), it was a way to honestly earn my money and not depend so heavily on my parents. It was with this money that I would pay my rent and other bills, since my family can only send me a small amount of money every month, enough for my food alone. In this way the job of a waiter, who is a low-paying job, was my only source of income. After a while I got an internship and I was not so dependent on my previous job. Finally, in time, one of the boys that lives with me (we live in a shared house, or republic), began to invest his will to also work as a waiter, in the same place. In the particular case of this boy, who is a good friend, his family pays his rent and other bills. There is no concern and he can devote himself to studies. Like every young man, he prefers to drink and spend the afternoons smoking marijuana, and then says he does not have time to work because any work would interfere with his curriculum grade. In fact, he rarely goes to classes and if he needs a job like that, even with his parents already paying his fucking bills, why does not he use his free afternoons time to look for a job? Because it's easier to want what's around. It is easier to want the neighbor's grass next door. I'm not saying he's rich and does not have to work. But his unconsciousness to others, the fact that he does not understand that other people need that job and that he can find another place, if he leaves a little his own bedroom, is a proof of a selfishness that has somehow bothered me deeply. I can not blame the younger ones for their lack of perception and life turned to parties and other celebrations, but the reality is hard for some ones, like me. In a way I was directly harmed by the mere whim of others. For his will to prove himself useful. Of not being a burden to the parents themselves. But if that's the point, then I ask myself again, why do not you wake up sooner and look for a job elsewhere and give me space? Or am I supposed to do that?

Bem, tempos atrás eu havia passado por uma situação muito interessante, onde havia uma espécie de inveja e desejo pelo modo de vida em que eu estava aprisionado e de certa forma ainda estou. Trabalhava todas as noitas como garçom, e mesmo que isso custasse meu tempo e não permitisse que eu acordasse cedo no outro dia (o que prejudicou meus estudos), era uma forma de ganhar honestamente o meu dinheiro e não depender tanto de meus pais. Era com esse dinheiro que pagaria meu aluguel e demais contas, uma vez que minha família pode me enviar apenas uma pequena quantia em dinheiro todo mês, suficiente apenas para minha alimentação. Dessa forma o emprego de garçom, que de certa forma é um emprego mal remunerado, era minha única fonte de renda. Depois de um tempo consegui um estágio e não fiquei tão dependente do emprego anterior. Enfim, com o tempo, um dos rapazes que mora comigo (moramos em uma casa compartilhada, ou república), passou a investir sua vontade em também trabalhar como garçom, no mesmo lugar. No caso particular desse rapaz, que é um bom amigo, sua família paga seu aluguel e demais contas. Não há preocupação alguma e ele pode se dedicar aos estudos. Como todo jovem ele prefere beber e passar as tardes fumando maconha, e depois diz não ter tempo para trabalhar, porque qualquer trabalho interferiria no horário de sua grade curricular. Na verdade ele mal frequenta as aulas e se precisa tanto de um emprego assim, mesmo com os pais dele já pagando as contas, por que ele não utiliza então as suas tardes livres a procura de um emprego? Porque é mais fácil querer o que está por perto. É mais fácil desejar a grama do vizinho ao lado. Não estou dizendo que ele seja rico e não precise trabalhar. Mas sua inconsciência em relação aos outros, o fato dele não entender que outras pessoas precisam daquele emprego e que ele pode arrumar outro lugar, se saísse um pouco do próprio quarto, é uma prova de um egoísmo que de certa forma me incomodou profundamente. Não posso culpar os mais jovens por sua falta de percepção e vida voltada a festas e demais celebrações, porém a realidade é dura para alguns, como eu. De certa forma fui diretamente prejudicado pelo mero capricho alheio. Por sua vontade de se provar útil. De não ser um peso para os próprios pais. Mas se esse é o ponto, logo me pergunto novamente, por que então não acorda mais cedo e procura outro lugar? Ou sou eu que deveria fazer isso?

go for a beer young boy, you deserve it.

***

***

Please make a donation. I live in the third world and to continue any work, writing and artistic production, videos or images, I need your financial engagement to not end up in one of the mass exploitation factories of the Brazilian market dictatorship. Please!!!!! Any value counts, 50 reais (12,5 $) is little out there but it makes a big difference here.

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****

Mes motivations, vive la liberté!

My sexual orientation.

People often have difficulty understanding the other's sexuality. As much as we explain our positioning, for some people there are no other possibilities than their own. My sexual orientation is assexual normal 30 years old guy. I get involved emotionally bisexually and have heterosexual and homosexual customs. The very idea of ​​''orientation'' is interesting. Oriented to do something. Disoriented too. Which reminds me of the notion of ''homosexual practice''. Or choice. There are groups who consider homosexuality a practice. I like the term, because in this category I would be considered a practitioner. It's like I'm a Catholic, non-practitioner. In Brazil exist a category of religious catholic people who are not involved with their own religion, they are called non-practitioners. I will be condemned by my perverse practices. Yeah. I consider myself something else, I consider myself a sexual pervert, a deviant. But these are strong words and to say it in this way touches the fragile imginario of the average citizen. It will be true? In practice, the average citizen usually has much more perverted and delirious behavior. Why am I then the madman? Why then is my sexuality a joke? Mine and the sexuality of my peers and comrades? Why our role in society needs to be always linked with doom or comedy, or become a life of trying acceptance and embarassing mirroring? And isn't honesty necessarily rewarded? Why do I need to suffer so much, could not they have left me alone without so many classifications and behavioral questions? Why they force us so much to ''assume'' something, to keep ''secrets'' from them because them will punish us by our crimes, to avoid ''obscene verbiage''? Why do not they assume what they are? It is their uncertainties that they project on us, and it is up to us to decide whether these are valid uncertainties or not, and worse, is up to us to decide whether it is our responsibility to serve as a therapy and scapegoat for all those frustrated average people. Frustrated with our taste, talent, beauty and above all frustrated with our certainty of what is right and fair. Because we all know how much they are unfair. It's like being a marijuana user. Another beautiful word, "user". They oblige me to define myself as a user. I am terrified of this kind of technical language that aims only to give some attribution or significant value over my reality. Words are power. What right do they have to classify us as users or traffickers? Are not they responsible for the traffic itself? And trafficking is only called trafficking because of prohibition. Traffic is just a name. The trafficking of blacks from one continent to another was legal. How could something trafficking be legal? Merchandise traffic is legal. Because trafficking itself is a word linked to transit, it has no negative connotation, but the media has implanted the ideology of fear and the drug war, where trafficking is synonymous with parallel power and death or crime. It's all false. False. The categories are dead.

***

go for a beer young boy, you deserve it.

***

***

Please make a donation. I live in the third world and to continue any work, writing and artistic production, videos or images, I need your financial engagement to not end up in one of the mass exploitation factories of the Brazilian market dictatorship. Please!!!!! Any value counts, 50 reais (12,5 $) is little out there but it makes a big difference here.

Em moeda €€€ EURO:

Em moeda $$$ DOLLAR:

Em moeda nacional R$:

Conta corrente:

Ag: 8351

cc: 15578-6

****

Mes motivations, vive la liberté!