I wanted so much to be young again and have imaginations, illusions, dreams about everything and having doubts too. I still have my personal doubts, but some dreams died with time and maturity. These days a colleague, friend of a friend, asked me about my opinion regarding the capitalist market. Of course there were the jokes about the market chains of the state in which I live, but I tried to maintain the seriousness and neutrality, not to enter the politics and not to complain all the night. I try my best. Even so, it's difficult to say or reveal any concrete information about the reality of national market. I am not a economist. And economists are liars. I have no doubt we were sold. I have no doubt that each region has very particular systems or market plans. It's not a wonder that in Sao Paulo we see practically only the service sector and in Mato Grosso we see people studying for agronomy and/or animal husbandry. People do not ask themselves about their place in the market because they do not yet have the experience to define what type of market they will try to integrate and even in relation to diverse and personal entrepreneurships there is much to think about and being young enables then to imagine almost everything. They idealize graduation, idealize their lives after college, but do not look at the system as a whole. For a moment they charge themselves for notes and other issues that are nothing more then artificial paradises. Life as a student is a bit better because our food is subsidized, we have access to services such as exercises, and even information that only exists within and inside the institutions themselves. For young people there are no issues to be raised and the existing issues remain at the weekend parties and constant emotional problems, internal crises that I also have, but by age I can hardly demonstrate, since suffering requires time and time requires resources. And I don't have time or money to suffer actually. I will love to have time for suffering in the couch or in my bedroom, but the landlord will not understand my feelings. Young people hardly know how to afford a life and many have their rent paid since ever. What to expect from someone with 18 years old, full of dreams, projections and lots of imagination? They imagine everything, imagine a fantastic economy, imagine a simple political system, imagine words emptied of content. What is Brazilian democracy in the head of a high school student? About the party currently in power, that party of millionaires, the casa grande people, whose children have had real estate since birth, Michelzinho Temer, the president's son, already has more than one million in properties. He must have an polyglot education. For the rest of the population they (the rich fellow devils) serve that mediated and poorly translated information. I wish I had different imaginations, I would think about meritocracy, I would think of ideal jobs that do not fit reality, recorded images of false scenarios, films and novels with completely fictitious situations. I do not feel anything else, I wish I could imagine spirits and religions, I really wish I could imagine building an ideal family. I can't. I can't. I can't. I refuse. It's a lie. The ideal of marriage. All empty advertising. I can no longer connect the absence of meaning, since the meaning is not mine, but it is a sense given collectively and my collective values are others. Long live the collective, but my notion of collective form is an enlightened and aware of its rights and social injustice perpetuated by the favorite rulers. How can these young people be aware of injustice and economic inequality and at the same time consider the idea of merit as valid? Where's the questioning? I am accused of being contradictory, but they imagine/see a contradiction only because we speak different languages. There is no contradiction or there is only contradictions in these inequal world and word. The sexist man imagines situations and organizes his own inner world without taking into account that women have the right to have a different experience from the experience that he considers to be the right one (and possible as the conservative view choice). People are giving unreasonable suggestions and unfounded criticism. They do not know what choices you have and even if you assume your choices they will imagine motives that did not even exist in the first place. Is there any self-awareness at age 18? The impulsivity, the will to eat everything and eat it all, to consume incessantly everything that is possible, to put everything in the mouth, as the babies does, are symptoms of our humanity, but after all the burning we have something left? Behind the ad banner there is only empty meaning or open meaning. And on the ad I see the ideas outdated lined by the escape of boredom. Capitalism is boredom and repetead simulation of our own lives. I am too old to imagine what young people imagine, today I live with what exists and with what is possible. Every possibility is an additional knowledge acquired at great personal, sentimental and even financial costs. Going and coming depends on access and some access are paid. Who makes the information available? Who is the information bridge for the others? And the others, are open for that information? I do not think so. Because young people do not see reality as it is, but they see a spectrum of their own desires. I'm out of it.
***
***
Please make a donation. I live in the third world and to continue any work, writing and artistic production, videos or images, I need your financial engagement to not end up in one of the mass exploitation factories of the Brazilian market dictatorship. Please!!!!! Any value counts, 50 reais (12,5 $) is little out there but it makes a big difference here.
Em moeda €€€ EURO:
Em moeda $$$ DOLLAR:
